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Alone in a foreign land

Kajal Kamdar

It was on February 21, 1999 that I got my admission letter from Virginia Tech University. I can assert that it was one of the happiest moments of my life. After all the hard work that had gone into appearing for the SAT and TOEFL, getting into Vtech was a pleasure.

My decision to come to US and do computer science here was made all of a sudden. Being a commerce student and doing stuff like accounting for five years (Yes, I did it in school too), I knew that CS would be a completely new field for me.

It was a major decision but I didn't take it seriously initially; I just decided to give it a shot. So after appearing for the entrance tests and doing well, I got into Vtech. Obviously once that was done, I didn't have time to even give it a thought if I really would be able to do CS here. But I am glad I did...

9th Aug 1999: I left for US... Believe me, I hate Sahar airport. Whenever I go there I have always cried. Before it used to happen when my brother used to leave for US after visiting us... But this time it was different. It was hard to believe that I was actually leaving my country, my family, my friends whom I had known so well for 18 years. Seeing everyone crying around me, I tried to try not to cry since that would have been worse for everyone else. But the minute I sat in the plane, I began weeping. I am sure the girl sitting next to me wondered what was wrong with me but I couldn't control it any more. The flight seemed to last forever. The only saving grace was the thought that my aunt would be there to receive me.

I still recall the moment the airhostess announced: "Please fasten your seat belts, we are arriving the Washington Dulles airport."

I peeked out and saw America for the first time through the window. Despite the 32-hour flight, I was very excited -- at least till I reached the terminus. My first experience wasn't all that wonderful: The airline had lost my bag.

Though I was mad, I was too confused, seeing all the firangs around me. I'm afraid I didn't really create a scene there... I got my stuff back the next day.

Staying with my aunt for a few days was a great experience... She showed me around and I was glad I had a chance to stay with her. After a week, my brother drove me to Blacksburg, the small, wonderful town where Vtech is located.

Being a family-oriented type, the first few days were quite bad for me... There were many Indians around, but the fact that I was in the US all on my own without my family was scary. A new country, a new people, a new culture... Everything seemed so very different. The first few days I felt I wanted to return to India and continue doing commerce there. But maturity prevailed and I learnt how to manage my emotions better. As time passed, the workload of the classes got me over my homesickness.

Blacksburg is a beautiful place... When I came, it was fall and the place was really colourful, the orange trees being particularly awesome. I was glad that my University wasn't in one of those noisy places like NewYork, which is crowded 24 hours a day.

The people here were very helpful.... Of course, the greetings and terms they used were very different from ours, but I slowly got used to them. What amazed me most, oddly, was their traffic sense. These people have the patience to stop the car and let the junta cross the road. Seeing that, I decided that I'd probably never have the patience to do that. I still haven't got my driving license. But then, I still miss the autorickshaws and the BEST busses of amchi Mumbai.

Classes here are really different. They are more spacious and had better facilities. But one thing that annoyed me no end was how the students behaved in classes. They actually put their legs on the seat before them, and eat and drink during lectures. Sounds disgusting, doesn't it? Some of them put their heads on the desk and sleep. You can actually hear them snore at times.

After coming here, the one thing that all Indians miss a lot is desi food. Eating bread and surviving on rice everyday made me sick. There is little variety available for a vegetarian like me. Actually, it's not all that difficult. I actually was able to survive without potatoes and onions during Paryushan.

But after coming here I have learnt to eat stuff that I didn't even consider eating back home. Everyone home will be surprised to see me eating palak, khichadi or even baingun bharta for that matter. Seriously, being an Indian student in the US really teaches you a lot.

The most difficult thing for me to handle was the difference in cultures. It's only after coming here that you realise what your family means to you. There is a huge difference in family and traditional values. Non- desis hardly miss their families. People are so self-centered and individualistic that it is quite difficult approaching them at times. Then there is the vast difference in food and clothing you have to contend with...

A few days ago we went to a friend's place for dinner and as we rang the bell, we heard the theme music of Zee TV. We were so exited that we decided to sit and watch a few serials... I have never enjoyed watching Amanat before. We also watched Mahabharat and, later, sang the title song of nostalgically.

Another day, unable to decide what English pop music to play, I put a cassette of daandiya songs on. Believe me, there's nothing to beat traditional music. We danced for two hours, doing the garba in jeans and playing the daandiya with rolling pins. After the dance, we assured each other that no fast English song would have been as good.

Staying away from family is really hard... The loneliness here is killing at times, and if there weren't for the desis around, it would perhaps have been impossible to survive. But then we console ourselves, telling each other that after all this will help us build our future.

It helps -- somewhat.

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