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July 17, 1999

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The South-Asian Woman's List of Good Resolutions

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Like Anjana Appachana and Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni, Shauna Singh Baldwin and her friend Bisakha Sen, a professor of economics (and a would be novelist), are immersed in feminist issues. Here are some of the resolutions they expect South Asian women to adopt.

  • 1
  • . I resolve not to apologize for existing.
  • 2
  • . I resolve not to apologize to men (unless I have really done something wrong).
  • 3
  • . I will make a distinction between myself and my family.
  • 4
  • . I do not need to be married to be happy or dutiful.
  • 5
  • . I do not need children to be happy or dutiful.
  • 6
  • . I do not need a son to be happy or dutiful.
  • 7
  • . I will not avoid discussions about money.
  • 8
  • . I will not criticize other women so as to blame the victim of sexual harassment or sexual assault. "She was wearing tight-tight jeans," "She is too mod."
  • 9
  • . I will support other women. Each one, teach one to be economically and emotionally self-sufficient.
  • 10
  • . I resolve not to betray my daughter into the arms of the patriarchy "for her own good."
  • 11
  • . I will evacuate any toxic environment that threatens my mental or physical safety.
  • 12
  • . I will take responsibility for my decisions and ask no one for pity.
  • 13
  • . I will not value a man based solely/primarily on his capacity as provider.
  • 14
  • . I will not cringe when stating that I make more than my husband.
  • 15
  • . I will not cringe at the thought of being the primary breadwinner of the family.
  • 16
  • . I will not sneer at men who are more sentimental than I am.
  • 17
  • . I will not push my son towards a stereotypical career any more than I do my daughter.
  • 18
  • . I will not die if my daughter chooses a mate who's in a "feminine" profession.
  • 19
  • . I will understand the pain of a man trapped in an unhappy career because he is compelled to be the sole provider for his family.
  • 20
  • . I WILL criticize the woman who cribs because her husband is not maintaining her in the style she would like to be maintained.
  • 21
  • . I will never use phrases like "Isn't he supposed to be a man" or "He isn't taking it like a man," or make comments about who wears the pants in the family.
  • 22
  • . I will accept that a man can be sexually harassed by a woman.

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