Angelina Jolie's right on top!

Vivek Fernandes

Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft is no lady. But she sure is all woman.

Ask any of the males who’ve seen the film. They’d woof and grunt in agreement.

Forgive me. I do not mean to sound an MCP. However, a fabulous script and stellar performances are not the best assets of Lara Croft - Tomb Raider, if you know what I mean.

But transforming a computer game superwoman into a believable personality is something director Simon West (Con Air) can pat himself on his back for.

Lady Lara Croft is British archaeologist who moonlights as a photojournalist. Born in 1968, in Wimbledon, with an AB-blood group (that’s how much I dug up on the virtual character), she still has to come to terms with the death of her dear father (played by Jolie’s real dad Jon Voight).

But as she speeds away on her motorcycle and sashays around with a revolver tucked into her tights, you can bet that she means business.

And she's the only one who can save the world from the dark forces of -- quite antithetically -- the Illuminati. A group determined to find the ‘Triangle of light’ -- an ancient artifact which allows its possessor to control time.

The triangle, because of its destructive powers, was split into two halves, which were hidden at two ends of the earth. Lara must find the pieces so they can be joined together when the planets are perfectly aligned at the time of solar eclipse which occurs every 5000 years.

Lara becomes Indiana Jones and Xena - The Warrior Princess all rolled into one and the joyride begins as the brainy (could I say buxomy?) brunette being airlifted to the forests of Cambodia.

After taking on the might of an army of Stone Apes, Lara dashes off to Venice and then finds herself on a dog-sledge ride in Iceland.

Predictably, this woman is on top of the game. She wins.

Academy Award winner Angelina (Girl, Interrupted) is perfectly cast. She fits the role as well as the T-shirts she wears in the film. The action sequences also pack a mean punch.

The cinematography and art design compensate for the film’s lack of substance.

But the vague plot -- and I'm going out on a limb to call it that -- is as intriguing as brushing your teeth. You won’t find any use for your grey cells. So leave them at home.

Somebody please pass on the pink slip to Barbie. Lara Croft proves brunettes have all the fun.

CREDITS
Cast: Angelina Jolie, Jon Voight, Daniel Craig, Iain Glen, Leslie Phillips
Director: Simon West
Producer: Lawrence Gordon, Lloyd Levin, Colin Wilson
Script: Mike Werb, John Zinman, Michael Werb, Patrick Massett, Michael Colleary

Also read:
Lara Croft explodes BO
Fast and Furious runs Tomb Raider to the ground